Breaking the Ice

It seems that I almost let February become another month without a post. Oops! To those of you who replied last month to tell me that you are still reading - Thank you. I promise that I will try to write a little more often. It's not that I don't want to write, I just don't make myself sit down and do it when I have an idea for a post.

My first semester of grad school at Humboldt is basically over. I don't have to go to classes anymore, I just have to write a 20-page research paper on the history of the Ku Klux Klan. I should also mention that I have been told to write this paper in English, which will make the project quite a bit easier. Not that I don't want to write papers in German, because I know that I will have to while I'm in this program... It's just that English is, unsurprisingly, the language of choice for international historical publications. Lucky me! In any case, I have until the end of March to write this paper. This is a good thing, because aside from the gathering of sources and some preliminary research, I have not started insofar as actual writing is concerned.

Tomorrow I have to sign up for classes for the Summer semester, which runs from April through July. I need to take some extra credits because my total number of credits for this last semester fell kind of short. I am thinking about taking a German language course, specifically a writing workshop. From what I have gathered after living here for the last 14 months, most people develop their reading and writing skills better/faster than their conversational skills. For me it is entirely the other way around, so I am going to try to work on that.

The long, frigid winter is finally over. Just a week ago there was still ice and snow all over the sidewalks. Now it has all melted away, leaving behind millions of tiny stones that the Germans use instead of salt as an environmentally friendly way of keeping people from slipping on the ice that forms when the snow melts under its own weight and then refreezes to form a shiny sheet of slippery ice (Glatteis). This year, hundreds of people fell and busted their asses on the Glatteis. I was lucky enough to avoid falling, mostly because when I walked anywhere I did so with my arms extended as though I was walking a tightrope, and each baby step I took was carefully considered. It was slow going, and I'm glad that it is over.

Once the BSR (Berliner Stadtreinigung = the people in charge of cleaning Berlin) felt that it was appropriate, they began the process of de-icing the city. This was done primarily with shovels and picks, chipping the ice off of the sidewalks and throwing it into piles where it would melt away. It was very fulfilling for me to see this process, because it symbolized a change of seasons. I felt that I, like Berlin, would begin to really experience 2010. I have missed being outside. I miss riding my bike, and look forward to starting that again in a couple of weeks. Don't get me wrong, it's still pretty cold (especially relative to my Floridian standards), but it is much more tolerable.

One good thing about the winter, I started going to the gym regularly. In the past 2-3 months I've noticed several changes: I am eating healthier. I feel stronger. I think that I look different, and most notably, I have noticed a significant increase in my mood/mental well-being. I only attribute part of this to the regular exercise, though. The rest of it may have to do with the presence of a certain someone in my life, and the unexpected but exciting relationship that has subsequently developed between us. I guess the best things that happen to us in life are the things that we cannot predict... If I felt that my blog was an appropriate place to do so, here is about where I would insert many happy emoticons to indicate to you, my audience, how much happier I am these days.

Oh! I am going to København (Copenhagen) on Friday for a long weekend! I have never been to Denmark and, aside from my two week trip to Florida over the holidays, it will be my first real traveling experience since I went to Amsterdam last July with my buddy Jake. Needless to say, I am very excited! It will be great to experience someplace completely new to me (that is, not Berlin or Florida). I will write more about the experience afterwards, but until then I've still got plenty of work to do: making my apartment clean/comfortable/presentable, choosing my classes for next semester, working on my KKK paper and getting fit at the gym.

The Seeker and The Sought

Hello everyone. It has, once again, been a short while since my last post. Maybe I am afraid that if I post too frequently, my posts will go unread.

In any case, what is new. I am still on Permanent Vacation. Well, it is not entirely permanent. I am putting the finishing touches on my application to Humboldt Universität Berlin. The deadline is actually up next Wednesday, and I'm just waiting on my transcript to get here from FSU. I won't find out if I was accepted or not until August. If accepted, I must retake a German proficiency exam called the DSH in September, because my TestDaF scores were not high enough. I am not at all excited about re-taking a language exam.

In preparation for this test, I will probably be taking the C2 level course for 8 weeks, in August and September, at the same school that I completed the C1 level course in January and February. I am a little nervous about that possibility, because C2 is the last level. I should theoretically be able to do "anything" after that.

If I do not get accepted to Humboldt, then I will end up getting a job and then re-applying for the Spring Semester. This is obviously the lesser of the 2 possible options.

Other than that, not much is new in Germany. It is getting very warm. Since Europeans do not believe in A/C, I bought myself an oscillating fan. It has been worth every penny thus far.


So I've been thinking about writing a blog post about a certain topic for a while. It has to do with the dynamic between two people. This applies (to some extent) to platonic friendships, but moreso to intimate relationships. Since relationships seem to be a hot blog topic, I figured it was about time to throw this out there. I have talked about this with some of you in the past, and it has been a theory of mine for quite some time.

I believe that in every relationship between two people, one person plays the role of the "Seeker," which means that he or she actively spends more time "pursuing" the other person, who takes the role of the "Sought." When I talk about "pursuit," I do not necessarily mean when one tries to make the other into their significant other (although that certainly counts too) but I also just mean when one person seems to try harder than the other to hang out, to get in touch, etc. I would actually say that this dynamic applies to every relationship. And most certainly to every significant other-relationship.

The healthiest couples are usually (of course not always) those that have the smallest "gap" in between the Seeker and the Sought. If it is either so small that it cannot be noticed, or even small enough that the two people change roles back and forth, that usually makes for a relationship that can last for a while.

One must also watch out at the beginning of a courtship (or even a new friendship). If you meet someone, exchange phone numbers and/or add them to your Facebook, you would do well to not send them 10 unanswered text messages a day. If they are replying to your 10 messages, obviously the gap between you is small and you are on the right track. This may sound like common sense, but it's amazing how often people ruin potentially good relations because they fail to exercise restraint.

I have been on both ends of this before. When you are the Seeker, you feel that if you do not put in 60% or more of the total "work" required to maintain a relationship, that it will fall apart. Most often, the Sought KNOWS full well that the Seeker feels this way, and may use it to their advantage.

At the beginning, the distinction between the two can be blurred by mutual enthusiasm for one another. In these instances I would say that both parties are Seekers and thus are both Sought. But, inevitably an imbalance will evolve. In the best of scenarios, this imbalance is negligible or practically non-existent.

Sometimes the imbalance grows exponentially, like a cancer. The Sought becomes annoyed with the Seeker's constant attempts for more affection/attention and then pulls away. The increased distance makes the Seeker panic, and consequently they will Seek even harder. This cyclical downward spiral situation is amongst the worst of cases.

Of course, human relationships can be incredibly complicated. Not every relationship can be boiled down to these 2 categories. But it provides a useful model when one contemplates their relationships with others.