Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Badass

Well, I'm still alive.

I took the TestDaF last week. It was quite difficult. I feel like I can never accurately gauge my performance on any kind of exam. I could have done quite well, or poorly. I will get my results in about 6 weeks, which is an excruciating amount of time to wait. Oh well.

I had my 27th birthday last Saturday. A small group of friends and I gathered for the occasion. They brought pointy party hats and extending paper kazoos. I'll put pictures up on facebook eventually... Though I am mildly indifferent towards the idea of birthdays anymore. I cannot believe I am 27 years old. Everyone always complains about "feeling old," so I'll keep it to a minimum. In fact, I won't complain at all. I just have trouble grasping the reality of my age, and how much time has passed since I learned to drive a car, since I played Final Fantasy VII, or graduated from Pine View. [12 years, 12 years, and 9 years respectively...]

On a somewhat personal note, and a different topic entirely, I have been feeling very nihilistic lately. That is not to say that certain things do not matter to me... But on the average, my perceptions of a great many things have changed over the past year or two. It is harder for me to laugh and harder for me to cry about anything. (But when I do, it's really great...) I find myself pulling away from human relationships. Almost nothing surprises me anymore. When confronted with something tragic or astonishing, I just kind of nod and give a cursory sigh. This may be one of the most personal things I've ever written on here, but it feels good to put my feelings to words. I am not necessarily worried about this change in myself, but I do worry that the trend will continue, further diminishing the value I have for anything.

Now I'd like to talk about one of my favorite words: "Badass."

Almost as ubiquitous as the F-word, Badass has so many wonderful applications.

As an adjective, it can simply act as a colorful synonym for "cool," "amazing," or "impressive."

That movie was BADASS!

As a noun, it refers more to somebody who is intimidating, powerful, or tough.

Sephiroth is such a badass...

I find myself using it all the time. I'll say it when someone tells me something that pleases me. Emphasis can make the word even stronger by inserting a pause in the middle and stretching out the vowels: "Baad Aass!" with a tone of sincerity or reverence.

And all of this from a word that, interpreted literally, means "butt cheeks of poor quality" or "a rear end up to no good." English is a crazy, crazy language.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Schadenfreude

according to German dictionary = "malicious joy"

according to English dictionary = satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune.



Sorry I take so long to update this...

So the other day I was sitting in a Chinese restaurant enjoying a nice lunch. As entertainment I was treated to the chance to eavesdrop on a conversation between an American woman and her British boyfriend. They were having a very public, very awkward, relationship-ruining blowout conversation. She was, of course, louder... so I mostly heard her side of the fight, as did the rest of the bystanders who were sitting and occasionally making side-long glances of horror for literally 30 minutes. The things she was saying were so stereotypical I literally had to force myself from laughing out loud. But I did chuckle quietly to myself as she uttered a few classic phrases:

"How about you try living my life for 1 day!"

"Oh your life is SOO hard, poor you!"

"You have such an EGO problem. Eeeego! Eeeego!"

"I'm glad I kept part of myself back from you because I KNEW this would happen!"

"Don't TELL me to calm down!"

"Don't TELL ME TO LOWER MY VOICE!"

"You're doing this to me Here so I'm gonna throw it in your face in front of all these people."

"I don't CARE if I'm making a scene!"

"I can't believe I trusted you!"

At one point she got up from their table and came over to the kitchen/staff area and was asked, "Can I break this bill?" Meanwhile this poor Asian server lady was struggling to make sense of her frenzied, emotionally distraught English. She did not understand that by "break" our heroine meant "separate checks." Eventually an understanding was achieved. As the server went down to deliver the checks, she shot me a "knowing" glance to indicate how uncomfortable she was with the situation. I almost choked on my meal.

It is probably wrong of me to derive SO MUCH pleasure from the suffering of others (Schadenfreude) but I can't help it and I had to share it. So I figured I'd write a post about it. It was epic.


In other news... I have recently moved into a new apartment. It is much larger, cheaper, and more comfortable than my last apartment. I have only been here for a few days, but I am working on making it feel "home"-ish. My last place was far too sterile. This place is at least customizable, albeit not as posh as my previous abode. Whatever. I'm really happy with the change, and I feel like I'm finally beginning to settle in here.

My new pad also came with a bicycle! I have been riding it around and slowly remember how fun it is to ride a bike. I am also glad that it isn't one of those things that one can never forget how to do. It is great exercise and it allows me to travel much farther than my petty human legs alone could.

I also recently got an iPod, which I cannot believe I have been without for so long. Having music playing all the time is really a tremendous luxury.