Schadenfreude

according to German dictionary = "malicious joy"

according to English dictionary = satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune.


Sorry I take so long to update this...

So the other day I was sitting in a Chinese restaurant enjoying a nice lunch. As entertainment I was treated to the chance to eavesdrop on a conversation between an American woman and her British boyfriend. They were having a very public, very awkward, relationship-ruining blowout conversation. She was, of course, louder... so I mostly heard her side of the fight, as did the rest of the bystanders who were sitting and occasionally making side-long glances of horror for literally 30 minutes. The things she was saying were so stereotypical I literally had to force myself from laughing out loud. But I did chuckle quietly to myself as she uttered a few classic phrases:

"How about you try living my life for 1 day!"

"Oh your life is SOO hard, poor you!"

"You have such an EGO problem. Eeeego! Eeeego!"

"I'm glad I kept part of myself back from you because I KNEW this would happen!"

"Don't TELL me to calm down!"

"Don't TELL ME TO LOWER MY VOICE!"

"You're doing this to me Here so I'm gonna throw it in your face in front of all these people."

"I don't CARE if I'm making a scene!"

"I can't believe I trusted you!"

At one point she got up from their table and came over to the kitchen/staff area and was asked, "Can I break this bill?" Meanwhile this poor Asian server lady was struggling to make sense of her frenzied, emotionally distraught English. She did not understand that by "break" our heroine meant "separate checks." Eventually an understanding was achieved. As the server went down to deliver the checks, she shot me a "knowing" glance to indicate how uncomfortable she was with the situation. I almost choked on my meal.

It is probably wrong of me to derive SO MUCH pleasure from the suffering of others (Schadenfreude) but I can't help it and I had to share it. So I figured I'd write a post about it. It was epic.


In other news... I have recently moved into a new apartment. It is much larger, cheaper, and more comfortable than my last apartment. I have only been here for a few days, but I am working on making it feel "home"-ish. My last place was far too sterile. This place is at least customizable, albeit not as posh as my previous abode. Whatever. I'm really happy with the change, and I feel like I'm finally beginning to settle in here.

My new pad also came with a bicycle! I have been riding it around and slowly remember how fun it is to ride a bike. I am also glad that it isn't one of those things that one can never forget how to do. It is great exercise and it allows me to travel much farther than my petty human legs alone could.

I also recently got an iPod, which I cannot believe I have been without for so long. Having music playing all the time is really a tremendous luxury.

Change I can believe in

So I am currently sitting on the couch in my mother's home in Sarasota, FL. I arrived here yesterday after days of packing up my apartment in Tallahassee, FL. I will keep this part of the rant short, but basically I feel the act of "moving" to be one of the most strenuous and difficult tasks to do. Partly this is because I am a notorious pack-rat, and had not thrown anything away since my first apartment when I was 19 years in 2001.

I ended up throwing away a great deal of detritus this time. Everything from college notebooks to my 2004 "Employee of the Month" certificate from when I worked at Blockbuster Video. Jesus. What the hell compelled me to keep such a thing? There's more, of course. Letters, notes, papers, pamphlets, movie ticket-stubs, the list goes on and on. Mainly, when all was said and done, I kept my books, my DVDs, some clothes (though I donated 6 garbage bags full of clothing to Goodwill, along with most of my other meaningless possessions [plates, towels, blankets... essentially everything I DIDN'T keep]). I sold all of my video games and systems for $222 cash, which was awesome. I gave away half of my furniture, my television, bookshelves, chairs.

Ridding oneself of most material items is marvelously liberating, to be quite honest.

Besides, I couldn't take it to Germany when I leave here [in FOUR days], and don't want to store it all somewhere. Just isn't worth it.

The hardest thing to do was to give up my cat, Merle. I had him for over six years, after rescuing him from a dumpster near my first apartment in 2002. It was particularly cold that year, and he was very young and thin. I gave him to a couple in Tallahassee who work for an international environmental law firm. When I left their apartment after saying farewell to my feline, I felt like someone had just shot my son in front of my eyes. I know that may sound ridiculous, but I had more trouble saying goodbye to Merle than to any human I've said goodbye to so far. I take comfort in the fact that he isn't dead, and will spend the latter half of his life in a loving home with people who have the means to take care of him. Plus, they promised to send pictures once and a while, which will help.

So, I am going to Germany on Saturday (landing Sunday the 28th) for an indeterminate amount of time. It could be a few months, or a few years (though much more likely to be the latter). I have written about this before, I know. I have been spinning my wheels, lost in a haze of boredom, apathy and loneliness for the past 5 months since I returned from Germany last time. A college graduate who is simply that. A 26-year old with a piece of paper saying that I'm smart enough to finish a four-year degree at a state university. Finally, I am moving abroad. To me this is the ultimate lifestyle change. I feel that this change is one that I need more than anything else since I moved to Tallahassee in 2006. Sure, there are plenty of things for me to be apprehensive about, but at this point I am just looking forward to believing in myself, in life, in my future once more.

For the very few of you who read this: Expect more frequent entries upon departure/arrival.