Uncertainty

Considering that August is halfway through, I decided that today might be a good day to write a blog post so that I don't fall behind on by 2 posts per month average.

I still have not heard anything from Humboldt regarding my application for a Master's program, which would begin in October. I check the mailbox daily. I have been informed that I should receive my answer sometime in August, so this means that I've got no more than 2 more weeks until I find out.

At first my patience was holding rather strong. A few weeks ago I received an email from the application company saying that I was qualified to apply, and that my application would be sent on to Humboldt for further processing. (Foreigners here must apply through a third-party. I am not sure why, I suppose the schools themselves do not want to waste their time with foreigners who don't even come close to making the grade.) At first I thought this email itself WAS my acceptance. But upon closer inspection, I discovered that it was like a pre-acceptance.

I wrote in a previous blog post... that if I was not accepted to Humboldt, that I will just get a job, retake the TestDaF, and try again next semester. This is still my backup plan.

But what is really getting to me now, is the uncertainty. I suppose I should attempt to be more willing to "go with the flow," and submit myself to the fact that I have no real control over what will happen.

Whatever happens, things do need to change. I am getting tired of having no enforced structure on my life. My permanent vacation has become my reality. I have no need to wake up early, or to do much of anything really. Many motivated friends of mine would simply implement their own routine and try to follow it as best as possible. I suppose I could do the same. Why don't I? Or rather, why do I find it so difficult?


I have been keeping up with American current events. It seems like the country is going insane with these "Town Hall" meetings. I've watched a few of them on YouTube. The "birther" movement is a new mutation of right-wing fringe madness. Despite being dismissed by the chairman of the RNC, as well as even many of the Fox News pundits... People are actually saying that Obama was not actually born in Hawaii, but Kenya instead? Wouldn't such a ridiculous "smoking gun" have been vetted by his opponents and critics like 2 years ago? I do not understand how misinformation and patent stupidity could actually be so contagious.

Fanning the flames of ignorance and hatred are certainly not new developments in our society. Not at all. But at the same time, I have heard from adults who honestly believe Glenn Beck's claim that Obama has set up FEMA concentration camps for those who disagree with Obama. America may have a lot of problems... but is not following in the footsteps of Cuba or Nazi Germany or Stalinist USSR when it comes to rounding up political dissidents and throwing them in prison. What a preposterous claim!

While being as pretty far away from conversative/republican as is possible... I certainly support their right to exist and to disagree with the me. I've googled things like "political prisoners in america" and weeded my way through various hate-mongering message boards. I usually try to stay away from such websites, but I was curious. I wish I hadn't bothered to look. The internet can be a scary place, sometimes.