Saturday, October 31, 2009


= "Insomnia"

I am going to sit here and force myself to write a post, because it is the last day of Oktober and I've only written once this month. I've got to meet my 2-posts-a-month quota!

If Fall/Autumn (Herbst) exists in Germany, I did not notice it. It seems to have just kind of skipped over directly into Winter. Today the "feels like" temperature is -2 degrees Celsius (about 28 Fahrenheit). I still miss riding my bike and I have only seen the sun twice in the past two weeks. Graylight has mostly replaced daylight, and it gets dark around 4:30pm. I'm glad that I don't have Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Insomnia, however, has been draining me of emotional energy as of late. I think the next time it strikes, I won't just lay in bed tossing and turning for hours. Instead, I will just get up and work on things so that I'm at least being productive when I can't sleep. Have any of you seen those commercials for the Lunesta sleeping pills, where the green butterfly flies in and magically puts smiling people to sleep? (Do people smile in their sleep?) Anyway, I want that Lunesta butterfly to come visit me sometime.

Despite the fact that my grad program in Germany has just begun, I am already beginning to contemplate my next move after this. I am not sure of much, thus far. Obviously, if I plan on being in an academic, I need to get another degree after this. That is, if I want to have any hope of finding a good job.

One thing that has become apparent to me is that I really like living in a big city. The idea of moving back to Florida is almost painful, so that's certainly out of the question. I think I would have to move to a bigger city in the U.S., perhaps Boston or New York. In any case, I've got plenty of time to figure it out.

I recently acquired a copy of The Road by Cormac McCarthy. I have not finished it yet, but I've been reading it relatively quickly. It's been a long time since I read fiction, but this book is amazing. I can't believe they are making it into a movie. It deals with survival in post-apocalyptic America, my favorite theme! As I wrote about back in May, it's not that I want the world to end... But I am fascinated with the idea of letting all the materialism, status anxiety and existential angst of humanity fade away. I wonder what would be left? I wonder if it would really be like it is in this bleak book that I'm reading...


Adrian said...

The Road...soon in a theater near you

sammyblade said...


I know. I can't wait. But according to IMDB, it does not even have a release date in Germany as of yet... so I may have to try to see it over the holidays or something.

William Farmer said...


How is your sleep hygiene these days? Are you making sure not to do work in bed, wake up at different times, read before you sleep, etc.? I go through fits of insomnia, too, though mine is the kind where I can't stay asleep more often than I can't get to sleep.