Lebenszeichnen

Lebenszeichnen = sign of life.

After another 2+ month hiatus, I feel it is time for a new post. If I still have an audience, I hope this post reaches you well. As usual, I've had a few ideas about things I want to write about, but never the discipline to sit down and simply do it.

The time flies by, it seems. In the past two months I've been to Florida and back, and also to France for a wedding. I've had a few projects in school, I've made some new friends here in Berlin and found a new apartment (though I'm not moving in for another week) that suits me much more than my current domicile.

In a little over three weeks, after my semester ends, I'm heading back to Florida-- for a whole month this time. I am very much looking forward to it, though that has very little to do with the actual destination.

And more excitingly, albeit further away, my vacation to Oktoberfest in München followed by Cairo is also approaching! Less than 3 months left! All the hotels and flights are taken care of, though AirBerlin has changed their timetable making it impossible to fly with them back to Berlin unless we just want to be in Cairo for 1 day, which seems like a huge waste. In any case, I'm not that concerned and we'll just have to find a new flight home. Luckily there is still plenty of time to figure all this out.

[edit: AirBerlin refunded the flight and now we are flying back to Berlin on a different airline -Turkish Airways- with a couple of hours of layover in Istanbul.] I was pretty pissed at AirBerlin for changing their timetables, but they redeemed themselves when they issued the refund without much trouble.

I've been looking into Ph.D. programs for next year, after my Masters will (allegedly) be finished. From my research, it seems that the best schools in terms of job placement for the kind of program I'm looking for are all Ivy League or otherwise highly reputable schools. (Stanford, Yale, Johns Hopkins, and UC Berkeley to name just a few.) I wouldn't mind living in California again, I lived there as a kid before moving to Sarasota. In any case, I know I want to live in or near a city where stuff actually happens. The idea of moving back to a place like Tallahassee after living in Berlin gives me a sinking feeling in my stomach.

So, I've been thinking more and more about where life will take me after I am finished here. Though, I suspect that I will never really be "done" with Germany. I've invested way too much time and effort in learning the language to just throw it all away and decide to be a baker or a plumber. (Not that there's anything wrong with those professions!) I want to have a job that enables me to travel at least once or twice a year. Ostensibly, I shoud be able to do that if I had a good teaching job at a college or a university, since those professor types always seem to get the summers off, which is awesome. Hopefully during my doctoral program I will be able to "do research" here in Germany, which is a nice excuse to come back to Europe.

It also seems, according to several websites I've been looking at, that many grad programs demand proficiency in more than one foreign language. Having taken French for years during middle and high school, it seems like that would be the obvious choice. But, to be honest, I don't really want to. I also took Spanish at MCC, and that seems like it is a much more practical language to know in America than French. I don't know if I'd ever be able to become as good in Spanish (or anything else) as I am now in German, but that doesn't mean that I can't at least cultivate a decent reading/listening comprehension and also be able to do simple conversational stuff. Anyway, we'll see. It's on my list of medium-to-long term goals. It sure would be nice to be multilingual...

Accepting the Ashes

Hmm... I have thought about writing a post for a while now, and I realize that it has been about 50 days since my last one. .

Well, the "Summer" semester of 2010 has officially begun, as of last week. As much as I might complain about it, I am actually glad to be back in school. The boredom was starting to make me crazy, almost reminding me of my permanent vacation from last year. So far my schedule is alright but a little chaotic in that I do not know if I will be allowed to remain in a course (Hauptseminar) which I need in order to graduate on time. I suppose one of the disadvantages of socialized education is that they do not pay a vast army of administrative officials to worry about things like: setting class size caps or paying a teacher to offer more than one sitting of a certain class per week.

When I first encountered these organizational difficulties a few days ago, I reacted poorly. While it is indeed obnoxious, I suppose I should re-frame the situation. I am beyond fortunate to have the opportunity to live and study in Europe, and I should not expect things to always be easy or taken care of for me.

My trip last month to Denmark was fantastic! It was barely above freezing during the day, but it was at least sunny and clear most of the time. I really needed the travel experience, and it was a lot of fun to share said experience with my girlfriend. We have already planned a trip later in the year to München for Oktoberfest, which should be amazing because I've never been to that event. And to give the trip even more twist: We are going to Cairo, Egpyt afterwards. I've always wanted to go there, and I suspect that it will be rather eye opening as it will be my first trip to that region of the world. This trip is about five months away, so I'll be sure to write more about it later as the excitement and anticipation grows.

One thing that struck me about Copenhagen was the number of 7-11 convenience stores. We counted like 4 or 5 within one or two blocks of each other... Often within visible range of each other. Weird. Sightings of other American chain institutions (like a BlockBuster Video - my former place of employment from 2002 - 2005) were quite surreal for me. Perhaps it is surprising because I never cease to be impressed by the export of American culture and business to Europe. This is especially apparent in media. For example, one night after they came on in America, the Academy Awards came on in Copenhagen, subtitled into Danish.

As of this writing, the Icelandic volcano "Eyjafjallajökull" has been erupting and thus disrupting European air travel for four days. It shows no signs of letting up. The reports that I have read say that the wind needs to change direction, so it may linger into next week. Normally, I wouldn't care beyond the point of curiously reading news articles about such an event. However, I have a ticket to fly to FL in just 12 days, and I'd really like to be able to use it! One could argue that 12 days is too far away to start worrying. This is a good example of my ongoing struggle and attempt to not worry about (read: accept) things that I cannot control (like volcanic eruptions or snags in class schedules). At any rate, I'm glad that I'm not stranded away from home like many thousands of others around the world.

I think that I will end on a subject that ties in to what I was just writing about. Acceptance. Sometimes all it takes to accept a situation is a simple adjustment in perspective. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, especially in the past week or two. While I could bitch and moan about my "problems" of graduation requirements, insomnia, or it having been a little cold on
my vacation to Denmark... I think that the rest of the world (but more pointedly, myself) would be better served if I would just look at the situation differently. I am about to turn twenty-eight, and I've got no major health problems to cause concern that I won't make it to twenty-nine. I have had the remarkable chance to live in Berlin and should hopefully leave here with a Master's degree. I have an awesome girlfriend and our relationship is a continual force of positivity in my life. The sun is shining outside and I am able to ride my bike again. I do not have to worry about many things in life that most people do have to worry about (money, work, children).

The future, despite the inevitable disturbances that will come with it, is very bright indeed... when one looks at it from this perspective.

Friendship

When thinking of a good photo to use for this post, I instantly thought of Mortal Kombat. I know that Billy used an "Animality" picture in a recent post of his. This is not an attempt to rip him off. I like to think of it as a collective homage to one of the best fighting games ever.


Hello readership. I am writing this en route from Amsterdam back home to Berlin. Writing blog posts while traveling seems to be a reoccuring theme of mine.

First, I'd like to express to you all how glad I am that my last post concerning relationships was answered by or commented on by many of you. Such a bustle of activity has never graced this blog of mine, and I'm really glad to have heard all of your opinions or comments.

Aside from some rain, Amsterdam was fantastic. It is a very interesting place. I must say that Dutch people are incredibly friendly and forthcoming. That being said, Amsterdam is one of the most culturally diverse cities I've ever been to. All major European capitals will demonstrate 5 or more languages on a walk through a crowded transit area... But Amsterdam really seems to have even more groups of people, at least to me.

There was this gigantic chess board where people would play chess with huge pieces. I watched a handful of games, which was great.

So, what now? Now I wait to hear back from Uni-Assist (the 3rd party that German universities outsource their applicants to) to see if I can begin studies in October. I am being encouraged to take the C2 class, the hardest level of German. It would probably be beneficial... And we all know that this vacation of mine cannot be permanent after all.

I've been thinking a lot lately about Friendship. About how our friendships shape us over the years, and how when one looks back over their life, the various "episodes" have distinct and important casts of characters. For everyone who is reading this, I can recall so many different memories from throughout my life.

I tend to care very much about the people closest to me, putting them in places in my perception that are just as close or important as family. This leads to phenomenal friendships but also sometimes to situations where I am confused. I notice that, as humans grow older, they tend to put distance between themselves and "other people," perhaps retaining a small handful of close friends.

Why do people do that? Does having many friends, "close" friends, or "best" friends mean that they all matter less to me than if I only had 1 or 2 real friends?

I don't think so, personally. Maybe we try to surround ourselves with different types of people. That way, we can admire the qualities about them that are interesting to us, confide in people with whom we feel we can relate, or people who reinforce our opinions and beliefs.

In any case, I consider myself a very lucky person to have the friends that I do have. Many of them won't ever read this blog but my sentiment remains the same. Of course, not even the power of friendship can make us feel completely validated. Maybe we require a mix of being comfortable alone with ourselves as well as maintaining other close human relationships in order to feel balanced and socially adjusted.

Maybe I'll write a blog post about solitude next time.

If you're reading this, and I know you, I am glad that we are friends.

Eurotrip

Today I am trying something new. Blogger has an option where you can email posts, thus enabling one to update via mobile devices. So forgive me if this post is not too lengthy, because I'm typing it out on a BlackBerry.

I am on a train to Lutherstadt Wittenberg, my home away from home. I spent New Years Eve (Silvester) there to bring in both 2008 and 2009. I have a couple of good friends there. They have a son, who will be turning 3 soon.

Children confuse me. They are so trusting and accepting. Maybe that is why people have babies, so that they can be reminded what innocence was like. (That, and we must propagate our species, I suppose)

So a week ago, 3 friends and I split a rental car and drove from Berlin to Vienna. We stopped in Dresden for a few hours, and in Prague for 1 night before continuing on to Austria. We stayed in Vienna for 2 nights.

Traveling within Europe is very cheap. It CAN be very expensive, but that is only if you insist on nice hotels and high speed trains. So, for a 4-day, 3-night trip through Germany, the Czech Republic and Austria, the prices were not bad.

My share of the rental car: 40€
Three nights in hostels: 55€
Plus food and stuff like that, it was just over 100€.

Now, that may seem like a lot. In some contexts, it is. But compared, say, with my trip to Sweden... it is absurdly cheap. (Just my plane ticket to Stockholm was 100+€)

The point that I'm trying to make here, is that Europe can be affordable if you know what you're doing and plan a little. Hostels (even the non-grimy/horror movie sort) are between 15-25€ per night. The biggest cost, for those who do not live in continental Europe, is GETTING HERE. That transatlantic flight is a bitch, and can run between $700-$1400 depending on the airline, time of year and how far in advance you book your ticket.

The moral is, you should take your next vacation here. If you want to stop in Berlin, you should. I make a good tour guide.

Permanent Vacation & Stockholm Syndrome

Man, I should stop waiting weeks in between entries. I really am sorry to those of you who have been actually asking for updates. I am notoriously bad about frequent updating. But hey, doesn't that mean that when I do update, it is a little more special?

Important news: I passed the TestDaF! I did not do perfectly, though. So, I have to retake another German language test in September before my classes would theoretically start in October. The Freie Universität Berlin, where I HAD wanted to go is no longer an option for me, as I basically missed the application deadline due to serious misinformation. So now I am applying for a Master's program at Humboldt Universität, the alma mater of: Einstein, Bismarck, Engels, Hegel, Schopenhauer, Marx, Heisenberg, W.E.B. DuBois and The Brother's Grimm.

Cross your fingers for me, my friends. I really want to get in to this Universität. I am tired of not being in school anymore. My life has very little structure. I basically stay up late, and sleep in every single day. I have dubbed this my "permanent vacation," which is much less relaxing than one would imagine after weeks go by. One becomes a little stir crazy. I am only allowed to work 3 days a week on my current visa, so that has made me balk at job hunting. I miss feeling like I have a purpose or reason to get up in the morning, beyond a distant "Fall 09" semester. I want to feel like I am accomplishing something.

A couple of weeks ago I went to Stockholm, Sweden. It was a truly amazing place. The sun shines for like 20 hours a day during the summer. The language is totally beautiful. But, I would never bother to learn it because only 10 million people live in Sweden, and they ALL speak perfect English anyway. Some highlights of the trip include:

- Räksmörgås - These are open-faced sandwiches (pictured above) with mayo, egg, and a giant pile of tiny shrimp. I don't even like shrimp that much, but these sandwiches are amazing. Actually, I loved all the Swedish food I tried. I'd go so far as to say that I'm a fan for life. Which is odd, because you never hear much about Swedish food. It's always "Asian, Italian, Mexican..." Where's the Swedish?

- The Stockholm Absolut Ice Bar - This is a bar that was made entirely out of ice. Even the glasses were made of ice. They gave us all "warmth capes" and gloves because the whole room is kept at -5 Celsius to prevent the tables, couches and whatnot from melting. They had several varieties of both alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages. I just liked it because one's shoes would freeze to the metal floor so with every step you'd have to kind of un-stick yourself.

- The People Watching - Scandanavians have somehow hit the genetic jackpot. The girls are all amazingly gorgeous and everyone is quite tall. I am also tall, but the people are noticeably taller than in Germany or in the U.S.

- The High School Graduation - There were dozens of dumptrucks rolling around the streets of Stockholm with the graduation high school classes of 2009. They were playing loud techno, "hootin and hollerin," drinking and just generally waving at the citizens and tourists in Stockholm. I raised my hand in a thumbs up to one truck, and was met with a roar of applause. I could not help but to laugh out loud. The government took care of all this, as well. Workers were driving the trucks, and guiding the traffic. If we did something like this in America, we would have 100% graduation rates.

I really want to go back to Stockholm someday, and spend some more time there. Though, I can imagine that it is rather insane during the winters, as it was very cold there in June. So, I can only imagine that the freezing cold of the Nordic winter combined with almost complete darkness all day long would make me a little down.

Traveling has been very helpful in dealing with my permanent vacation. The constant distraction it provides is good for my mind. Less than a week after returning from Sweden, I went on a road trip to Austria, but I am saving that for another entry. (...I won't wait 3 weeks to post again, either.)

Absolute Magnitude

I know I haven't written in a few weeks. While I am not sure if my three followers noticed my absence, I missed my own absence. I am actually writing this as a text file because I am currently somewhere over Canada, about to cross from Quebec airspace into Ontario airspace on my way in to Chicago O'Hare airport. More on this epic journey in a moment.

Last night, I spent a sleepless night in the InterCityHotel at the Frankfurt Airport. I stayed up all night (not really by choice) thinking of things that I wanted to write about. I have probably forgotten most of it by now since I've been awake for over 30 hours so far. But there are a few items that I do remember.

Billy's blog, especially when it involves people that I've known for almost 20 years, reminds me of things that would normally be filed neatly away in the memory banks. I want to talk a little bit about my senior year Government/Economics class taught by (1) Mrs. Salzman (or Mrs. Mosckowitz, as we first knew her). This all occured 9-10 years ago, so a lot of my memories sometimes feel as though they may as well be dreams that I had once, and tend to blur together. So instead of giving a narrative, I will just cover a few awesome highlights. I will not be includinig any last names to protect the innocent.

This class had an all-star cast of characters. In the U-shaped horseshoe of our classroom desk-configuration, one side was occupied by the following people, in a row: David, Jeremiah, Mike, myself, Cameron. If you know/knew any of these people, one could actually start to feel sorry for Mrs. Salzman.

I do not have the penchant for giving 20 nicknames to people. But this is about the time of the year that Jeremiah and Mike (and Matt J, right?) called each other "Bruce" just because it was ridiculous. So Bruce and Bruce were the best at pissing off our J-dating teacher. I wasn't bad either. But she knew that I actually liked her (true story, she really wasn't bad at all considering who she had to put up with daily. The name of the game was to see just how much one could get away with before getting a referral, or at least a good head-cocked, wide-eyed scolding from Suzy.

I never really paid attention, which is funny because I got the highest grade the Economics portion of the class and the subsequently useless "Honors" award. One day I was daydreaming and playing a game where I write the number of minutes until school was over (it was my last class of the day) on a piece of notebook paper and try to see if I can go 1 full minute without looking at my watch. Anyway, Suzy was lecturing and it was something about governmental authority. Her voice went like this in my head: "blablablabla blabla's Power is absolute." Upon hearing the word, I pumped my fist in the air and yelled at an inappropriate volume: "Absolut Vodka, Yeah!" The class waited about 1 full second before the laughter starting, earning the aforementioned look of death from Jared and Eric's Mom (Hell, one of them might have been there too, it was often the case...) Another time she openly mentioned her frustration with my behavior, to which I jumped up on a desk, jumped down to the floor and walked over and gave her a hug to diffuse her anger. She actually hugged me back, earning a wave of "Awwww"s and (as I like to think in my dream-like, exaggerated recollection) a few scattered bits of clapping.

Jeremiah was pretty good too. He earned my life-long respect by using the then-antiquated Apple LCIII classroom computer to "hack" into websites and would turn some off and on. Jeremiah and Mike fed off each other, mostly in trying to make David laugh (definitely a worthwhile endeavor though). One of my favorite memories is when Mike was "seperated" from the rest of us because of his shenanigens, which I believe followed a referral. Suzy and Mike definitely had a love/hate relationship. Anyway, one time Mike got in trouble without saying any words. In fact, it was Because he didn't say anything. He just stared at her with an slack-jawed guffaw on his face, unquivering. Smiling because it was part of the joke, but never laughing despite how much his peers were failing at trying not to chuckle. Upon being asked to stop making the face and to respond to her, Mike continued to stare until she blew her top. It was the most passive-aggressive thing I have ever seen in my life. He sat across the room for a week or more, trying desperate to get my attention (or David's) so he could perpetrate the same "I'm going to stare at you with this dumb grin until you crack" ploy against us. I think it ended with Mike coming back and sitting on our side and nobody ever saying anything about it. Maybe Mrs. Salzman was just tired of fighting when she knew she couldn't win. But then, both she and Mike had been known to make Katie F. cry (admittedly not a hard thing to do. Katie, if you ever read this, you know we love you but I am not lying).

But going back to Absolut Vodka... I also had Mr. Percival for astronomy that year. Considering that was my first major/real hobby/career path, I took it very seriously. I still remember some stars and the constellations and the rest is just a smattering of factoids. I think whenever we had a "constellation quiz" basically 2 tables of people would cheat blatantly off of me in front of Chap. Man, Chap and I deserve a seperate blog post. I'll try to remember.

Anyway, I wanted to tell you about Absolute Magnitude. You see, every star has both an Apparent and an Absolute Magnitude, ranging from -1 (the brightest star) all the way up into the 20s, with each number representing a difference of a power of ten (like the Richter-scale) to indicate how bright the star is. The Apparent magnitude is how bright a star "seems" to us here on Earth, simply. The Absolute magnitude is what the same star would be look if it were 10 light-years away from us. Therefore, a star that is really bright to us, and still much farther away than 10LY (as most stars are) would have a huge Absolute Magnitude.

I realize this is all probably pretty boring, so I guess I'll get to my point. I guess I have always hung on to this knowledge because I feel like it applies to more than just stars. I think one of the reasons that I always loved science was because it allows one to put things into order, whereas the rest of life is relatively disorderly. I was thinking, wouldn't it be great to meet someone and be able to determine their intelligence, charisma or other character traits in both a subjective (apparent) and objective (absolute) frame of reference? You'd be able to size up people instantly. You'd be the best person at the party in terms of calling people on bullshit. Like that douchbag in Good Will Hunting, at the beginning, who was trying to impress Minnie Driver by spewing facts he had learned from a textbook. Then Matt Damon shows up and gives the biggest and most heroic intellectual smack-down ever, like we all wish we could do (whether or not we ever act on that wish) more than we get to.

Having crossed into United States (Michigan) airspace, I will start to wrap this up. I am currently on my way to my cousin's wedding in Kentucky. Before I get there, I will have taken 1 train, 3 flights (the one I am now is the trans-atlantic 9-hour hell), and I'll have spent the night in 3 hotels, obtained 1 rental car, and physically been in 4 States (Illinois, Georgia, Indiana and Kentucky) JUST to see my family for a couple of nights before heading back to Germany next Sunday. I am so tired. I cannot sleep on planes, something I always wish I could change about myself. I've been awake for so long, and don't get to Atlanta (my resting stop for the night) until around 4:45pm EST (five hours from now).

Remember now, everything has both an absolute and apparent magnitude, even if you yourself can't tell the difference.